My Best Frenemy

Have you ever had a person in your life that liked to push you in front of the proverbial bus? You know, a friend who seems to enjoy your discomfort a little too much? The perfect friend on the outside but some little part of them, either because of low self esteem or jealousy, loves to torture you.  A frenemy.

Okay, before you start to give me crap and ask the question “Why would you put up with someone like that?” lets think about our relationships with our sisters. We all have those periods when we are frenemies!

Here’s why I’m bring this up….

Lately I’ve been thinking about my best frenemy and asking myself why I put up with the shit I do. The answer that comes to mind immediately… I’m nicer then my frenemy and I’m trying to be unconditional. That is right, but it’s also true that there are times I feel sorry for my frenemy. After all- there has to be something wrong with them to treat a friend this way right?

What a pile of self-righteous bullshit.

I do try to be the kind of friend I would want to have, but I think we keep these people around because they are fun, exciting and unpredictable. Even if they are a pain in the ass.

In an effort to keep from (accidentally) breaking someones nose or (accidentally) running someone over with my car, I have decided to pay along with this frenemy mine…

Being my helpful little ol’ self I’ve come up with a few fun ideas for you

On one of those wild girls night’s out send picture messages from random men’s phones to her boyfriend/lover/mother/husband/pastor when she’s dancing/necking/playing hide and seek with the cute guy she just hooked up with. The great part of this is getting strange men to pay along- never know who you’ll meet!

Make sure you tell your frenemy’s children all of the dumb shit you did as kids and teenagers. Give ideas and lots of details, making sure the adventure sounds like a cool one.

This is always fun! Just wait for the perfect moment…when your frenemy is chatting with/laughing at the cute guy…be patient…and…at…the…perfect…time….blurt out… “I picked up your Valtrex at CVS today, you’re going to need that tonight.” Nudge-nudge-wink-wink!

Does your frenemy hide spending from the better half? An innocent call to the better half looking for your frenemy— who you were meeting at the spa/jewelery store/mall—asking if he know where she is because “your frenemy isn’t answering cell” will do the trick.

Enjoy and remember not to play perfectly nice- what fun would that be?

Author: admin

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