They keep us safe. Wired into our systems are these wonderful things- fear of heights, spiders, commitment and the strongest instinct of all…
The Fear of Man Panties
Man Panties are fine while on your man, in fact we spend time trying to get in them. They hit the floor and it’s a different story.
No woman has ever been taught to fear these most dreaded of laundry items. It’s instinctive that we know not to touch them once they hit the floor, think back to your childhood. Did anyone ever have to tell you those were not to be touched? No, you just knew.
This of course leads us to the the inevitable discussion, how to get them from the floor of the bathroom into the laundry basket and then to the washing machine where they are rendered safe.
After asking a few members of the Mafia how they handle this problem, we thought we would list a few useful ideas that have worked for us.
Laundry gloves- these can be gardening or rubber, either will work
No gloves? Create one from the t-shirt you find on the floor next to the MP’s
New Man Panties weekly! For those of you invested in the company that makes Hanes
Elimination of contaminates via the use of proton pack (See:Ghostbusters) Do Not Cross the STREAMS
The karate kick- where you catch the corner of Man Panties with your toe and fling toward the hamper.
When all else fails and you must resort to this
We recommend this as the last act of a desperate woman- leave those bitches to pile up until your man notices them and asks why they are still there. This is a risky move that could backfire and cause a pungent smell to emanate from your otherwise tidy bathroom or bedroom. Also, be warned the quickest time on file for a man noticing a pile of smelly Man Panties is three weeks or 21 pairs which ever comes first.
Making your man go Commando is a bad idea, this creates a giant pair of Man Panties out of every pair of pants he wears!