I have known for quite some time, as Iâ€™m sure you have, that the male ego is the most fragile thing in the universe.Â What we might not realize is how insecure a man can feel or how his self worth is determined by his ability to provide AND his womanâ€™s attraction to him.Â The two big revelations for me were about men being â€œVisualâ€ and that men are emotional about sex. For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn about the inner lives of men will help the Mafiosoâ€™s understand whatâ€™s going through his head and why some seemingly innocent remark we make may set him off.
This is a nice little read that I recommend but if you arenâ€™t feeling it here is a list of the major points the book makes and some simple points Feldhahn makes we can remember:
Men would rather feel unloved that disrespected and unappreciated- Watch what you say and DONâ€™T tease your man in front of others.
Men may look like they are in control but they often feel like impostors and worry about their inadequacies being found out- Affirm your man and be positive! He needs your support and itâ€™s easy to give!
Men are born to provide- Guess what? It doesnâ€™t make a damn bit of difference how much money you make, your man is still feeling the burden of providing for you. So if we complain he works too much itâ€™s an issue since he feels the NEEDS to do just that.
Men view your sexual desire as an affirmation- Itâ€™s your DESIRE not your willingness that he needs. No, Iâ€™m not going into more detail figure that one out on your own. Hereâ€™s what I will say (and yes I did check this one out too) men are affirmed and gain a sense of well being from your attentions. And all this time we have been told men only viewed sex as a physical thing.
Men are visual- What the hell does that mean anyway? It means that men can look at a woman recall the image years later (I tested this today- itâ€™s true and really disturbing) and guess what? This is an ongoing struggle for men and they like to look at attractive women. They fantasize, so if your man is having a bad dayâ€¦on the outs with youâ€¦the chick on the Internet who LOOKS good wonâ€™t reject him or tell him he works too much.
Men are not unromantic- They donâ€™t think they can be romantic and succeed. Plus, their idea of romantic is slightly different. Think about doing guy things with them and then topping it off with a little traditional kissie face orâ€¦.more. Important point here- men think romance ends with sex. Good to know.
Men do care about appearances but it doesnâ€™t make them shallow- Iâ€™m not touching this subject here. You need to get the book at this point and read it.
There are some great additional resources on http://www.shaunti.com/ including the menâ€™s answers to the surveys that Feldhahn conducted as research for the book. Hereâ€™s theÂ ISBN 978-1-59052317-9 just in case.